I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize