Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
