My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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