Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
