ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
