I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
