now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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