she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
