she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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