Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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