accomplished twins. life is a go
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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