Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
