he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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