I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i was born a porn star she said
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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