Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
