can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
