What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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