I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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