my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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