you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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