His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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