I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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