Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
