It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
