How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
