how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
