i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
