Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
