I just pynch a tree in the face
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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