I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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