he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
