Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You are a genius and a whore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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