I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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