I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
