It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
