I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
