I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize