That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I looked at my own cervix.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
