Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
