im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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