I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize