That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
