I wannas sexs uuuuu
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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