What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he fucked my hip out of place.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
