after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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