come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
