She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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