Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
