If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
