the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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