I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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