I accidentally burped into my bong.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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