Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
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The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
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Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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