Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
