hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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