so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
