He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
