I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
