K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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