he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize