i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
